Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
