Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
