2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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