I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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