and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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