Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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