"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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