Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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