An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
