when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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