the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
