I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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