Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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