i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
