Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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