i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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