he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
