Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
