Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
