Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
