I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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