I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
