those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
