There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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