She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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