So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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