I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
