I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
