That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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