they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
