I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Enjoy the penises
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
