it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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