You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
