Got a toothbrush?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
honey bunches of taint.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
