My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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