last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
