He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
