She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
