This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
