we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
