I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
