Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
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