I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
