She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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