Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
