Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
