I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
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