i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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