I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
