put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
