I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
