im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
