dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
