He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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