I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
