this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
