You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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