I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
