Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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