I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
