I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
