I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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