i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
