I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
third nipple confirmed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
