Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
